Archive for April, 2010

Walking the Path of Surrender

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Back in the early ’90’s, when I was first beginning my spiritual healing practice, it was popular for practitioners to increase their clientele, by setting up shop in various cities, and working out of New Age bookstores.   This method seemed to be working for many people, so I too decided to give it a try.  It was really a lot of running around, but because it turned out to be fairly lucrative, I continued my monthly traveling route to and from the North Carolina cities of Raleigh,  Wilmington and Greensboro, for nearly two years.  I saw it as a win, win, win, situation, for the client, store and myself, and a great way to serve these communities.

In retrospect, I know now, how unwise it was to work on folks right off the street.   I never knew who I would be working on or what malady I would have to deal with.  Most clients were fine, but there were a few, that I would have been better off never meeting.  I am reminded of a young woman who had a black amoeba like energy,  stuck in her third eye.  My guides took one look at her and said sternly, “Step out of the room!  We will work on her ourselves.”  And then, “Don’t accept any money in exchange for this healing.  You don’t want anything connecting the two of you when she leaves.”  Well, I was young and inexperienced back then, what did I know?!

During that time I was also in the processes of educating myself through a four year apprenticeship in Native American healing and spirituality.  My teacher and I usually met a couple of times a week for our session work together, which usually consisted of discussions, profound healings, and sacred pipe ceremonies.  It was truly a transformative and educational time for me.  However, I was unprepared for what was soon to transpire during one of our healings.  Our time together started out fairly routinely, however, as soon as I lay down on the table, The Guardians of the Directions came and talked to me about my healing practice.  They said, ” You think you are serving others, but really you are only serving yourself!.  If you truly want to serve others, what you need to do is cancel all your appointments for the next month, and let us bring you people to work with.”

Well needless to say, I was in shock.  First of all, I really felt I was serving others, and never even entertained the thought that I was just serving my ego.  And there was absolute terror, at the thought of loosing all my hard won contacts, and having no income.  Did I really want to do as I was being asked?  Would the Guardians come through for me?  How committed was I to this path anyway?  It really threw me into a very profound, although short lived, Dark Night of the Soul.  Several days later, after much soul searching, I finally decided to follow the Guardian’s suggestions.  I cancelled everything on my calendar for the next 30 days, and thus, my path of surrender began.

The path of surrender, is extremely yin in nature, and little understood in our culture.  Most people are continually pushing and promoting themselves to get ahead.  In the path of surrender, all things that I need are simply brought to me by Spirit.  I live in a state of Grace.  Through the years, the Guardians of the Cardinal Directions, have become my most cherished companions, protectors, teachers, guides, and allies.   Although I have not surrendered my free will, I am always mindful of what I am being asked to do to serve humanity.